Mom and Mommy

To whom do you owe your greatest debt?

Tough question . . . although for me the answer is obvious:

Mom.

For she is the one who has given me so much - everything, in fact; or, at least, the beginning of everything. Life from her womb, sustenance from her breasts, love from her heart.

And Mom is the one to whom I have given the least. For have I ever been able to give her what she craves from me? And though I'm not sure what it really is that Mom craves, the fact that she has given me so much - everything, in fact - makes it virtually impossible for me ever to repay her.

Not that Mom has ever asked from me compensation, or merit pay, or reimbursement for damages, or even a modest honorarium.

No, because what she gave me was an unconditional gift - forged in the hearth of love, governed by blind faith.

And so it is with all mothers: the gifts they give come without debt. Their gifts are pure, transparent, sacred.

And the unconditional gift that the mother of my child gave me is pure, immaculate, sacred. For what greater gift can a mother bestow than the gift of a child?

I love my daughter more than I love my own life, but the font of that love, though it courses through me, originates from her mother. I'm just a compliant participant, a lucky guy who was in the right place at the right time and who has greedily reaped the vicarious rewards of serving as a witness to the miracle of a mother's sacramental love.

And that love - infinite and absolute - defines me as it defines the mother of my child as it defines all mothers as it defines all of us.

When I was last in Vermont, I was talking with my daughter about Andréa's job (serving as a college Dean of Students), and explaining to Cady Scout that her mother is, like me, a teacher.

"No she's not," Cady Scout replied, "Mommy's Mommy."

"Well, Mommy is your Mommy, but she's also a teacher."

"No," she insisted, speaking more slowly so that I would be sure to understand her, "Mommy's Mommy."

Cady Scout simply would not see it any other way. Which made me want to gather her in my arms and hug her tight and never let her go.

For while she might have been developmentally incapable of understanding that we all live multiple lives, Cady Scout might also have been aware of the unadulterated nature of a mother's love and the fact that regardless of what she would become in the years to come, for her, Mommy would always be Mommy.

And so it is.

As our lives evolve and spread, the fundamental truth remains that Mommy will always be Mommy. Nothing that I, or we, will ever do can change that unconditional, pure, sacred fact.

So thank you Mom, thank you Mommy, and thank you to all the mothers who have given to all of us unconditionally.

--Steve McKibben
5/13/07