Efficacy vs Self-Esteem

Growing up, I used to be invited to the occasional birthday party that was held at our local bowling alley. After we had been shoe-horned into multi-colored bowling shoes, after we had gorged ourselves on Moxie and birthday cake, and after we had bowled two or three frames (this was Maine, which meant candlepin bowling complete with three small balls per frame and deadwood littering the lane), the bowling alley would give the winner of each game a small, shiny, plastic trophy.

The birthday girl or the birthday boy would not get an additional trophy nor would anyone who participated but who had not won. Only one person per game - the winner - would get a trophy.

I may well be misremembering due to the passage of time, but I don't believe that any of ever us considered that we had a right to a trophy if we didn't win. And we were proud if we did win. My trophy sat on my bureau for a couple of years until it was usurped by a foul ball I caught at Fenway Park.

My point is that I am not a big believer in awarding trophies for participation. Please understand that I believe that students should try, should work hard, but the fact remains that participation in and of itself does not - nor should not - serve as a proxy for success.

Participation is only the first step toward success. Success is also dependent upon superb instruction, suitable modeling, appropriate assessments, and practice, practice, practice.

Success not only takes time and effort, but it is also relative. Your success may not be my success, and I may never be as successful as are you despite the quality of instruction I receive and the amount of effort I put into practicing.

The bottom line is that we were not all created equal, so there will always be some of us who will have to work harder in order just to keep up. Not everyone can be the winner.

Unfortunately, I think that these days our society has increasingly confused success with self-esteem - "a favorable impression of one's self." I don't put much stock in self-esteem.

I think that, especially these days, self-esteem is an overrated construct used as an excuse to protect our children from the pain of losing or, even more harmfully, from the pain of trying.

As an educator and a parent, I'm far less concerned with a child's self-esteem than I am with a child's capacity for success.

Success is a process and that process is relative for each individual. Students will be challenged, they will suffer defeats, they will pick themselves up, and ultimately they will succeed if they are blessed with teachers who care and parents who are committed to the process of success.

Success does not stem from feeling good about one's self. Success comes from effort and from perseverance.

Success is the product, not of self-esteem, but of efficacy - "the capacity for producing a desired result or effect." Efficacy is realized by mastering the skills and the work ethic necessary to success.

When students are successful, they are not cursed with a vapid sense of self predicated upon inflated pretexts (such as merely participating) but a sense of confidence earned by their mastery over a particular task be that testing a hypothesis, conjugating an irregular verb, or being the top scorer at the bowling lane.

Trophies (real and metaphorical) reflect efficacy. Efficacy begets success. Success ultimately informs self-esteem.

So it is efficacy and not self-esteem that we as educators, as parents, and as a society should be nurturing and celebrating.

--Steve McKibben
9/17/06